THE WHITE SATIN
Am I really worth the pain I cause to other people or is it the reason why they end up kicking me away? Is a great mind feeder until he is hung upside down from the chandelier thinking about this in his 6x6 room which he can barely afford in his mediocre salary making ends meet like any other human stuck between the flesh eating mediocrity they were born into and the will to rise up from it having the audacity to dream.
Ismial was a vibrant young man with a cheerful aura which could heal your pain and make it all right again, but do you know what absorbing others negativity can lead you to? All of us choose a few people to fix and call them best friends, brothers, sisters or whatever your version of it is. In a hope that when we are down they'd do the same, but then there are people like Ismal who I prefer to call Homicide Healers.
These people absorb others darkness till a point that their ability to heal is canceled out and the little amount of positivity they have for themselves is used up as well. So all they're left with is anger, frustration, anxiety, feeling drained and tired so much so that they can't carry on anymore. Now imagine being a Homicide Healer and dealing with your own shit for once along with healing others. It is like a broadway show where you're all happy and excited on the stage as you perform but no one knows what goes on behind those white satin curtains.
But Ismial was as real as can be behind them, its like there were two of him.. but he knew the one behind those curtains was who he really was going through life like we all do facing rejections be it a job or a love interest he wanted to pursue but at the end when you reach home tired and worn out you need friends and family to hear you out right?
Wrong! In case of a homicide healer after a long day when they should have someone to talk about shit all they get is listening to other peoples problems and goes on over and over again...Frustrating right?
Wrong! In case of a homicide healer after a long day when they should have someone to talk about shit all they get is listening to other peoples problems and goes on over and over again...Frustrating right?
All you do all day is dance and jump around in that theatre for others. And when you need someone to dance around for you all you get are closed curtains and your lonely self waiting to be plunged into the darkness because maybe accepting it would give you salvation... maybe diving in would let you see God's face and she might hand you clarity in the sense of belonging.
Art in frame
ISMAIL ZABI ULLAH
Written by
ASHISH BHAGWAT
Photography / Direction
AAKASH KUMAR
